GOOGLE’S GEMINI: Another Month, Another Subscription

Phu Nguyen

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google gemini
By Phu Nguyen

Oh, brace yourselves, folks! Google, in its never-ending quest to dominate our digital lives, has decided that Bard was so last season. In a move that screams “we’re still hip,” they’ve rebirthed Bard into the oh-so-fresh-and-not-at-all-trying-too-hard Gemini. And because they’re feeling extra generous, they’ve launched a dedicated Android app to go along with it. But wait, there’s more! For the first time ever, you can now part with your hard-earned cash for a premium slice of Google’s generative AI engine. That’s right, another subscription to add to your ever-growing list, because what’s life without monthly payments to Big Tech?

For a low, low price of $19.99 / £18.99 / AU$32.99 a month, you can unlock the mystical doors to Google One AI Premium. No annual discount because, let’s be honest, why make things cheaper when you can milk it monthly? But, because Google is the benevolent overlord of our digital domain, they’re throwing in a two-month free trial. How generous, considering we’re just guinea pigs for their latest AI concoction.

Gemini’s UI

Now, for those of you drowning in digital clutter, this plan throws you a whopping 2TB lifebuoy across Google’s digital ocean – Gmail, Drive, and Photos. If you’ve been scraping by with the pitiful 15GB free plan, then congratulations, you’re now invited to the big kids’ table.

But let’s cut to the chase: the AI features. Because, frankly, that’s the only reason you’d consider forking over twice the amount of a standard 2TB plan. Enter Gemini Advanced, or as I like to call it, ChatGPT Plus’s more expensive cousin. Google promises “state-of-the-art performance” with its Ultra 1.0 model, tackling “highly complex tasks” that most of us probably don’t need but will insist we do. It’s like owning a sports car in a city with a 30mph speed limit – unnecessary, but oh so fun to brag about.

And what’s this Ultra 1.0 capable of? Outperforming human experts in a test that sounds like it was designed by a committee that couldn’t decide on a favorite subject. From math to ethics, because when I think of AI, I definitely trust it to navigate the murky waters of moral philosophy.

But fear not, even if you don’t opt for the premium plan, you can still get a taste of Gemini through the dedicated app or the built-in features in the Google app for iOS. It’s like being at a fancy restaurant but only being allowed to sniff the dishes.

google gemini
Gemini

Now, for a mere $10 / £11 / AU$13 more than the standard plan, you can have Gemini Advanced sprinkle its AI magic across your emails, slideshows, and whatever else you need to make it look like you’re living in the future. And soon, it’ll integrate with Google’s productivity apps, turning them into your personal AI-powered assistants. Because who needs human interaction when you have a computer to compose your emails?

In conclusion, Google’s latest offering is a tempting glimpse into an AI-powered future, wrapped in the familiar package of monthly payments. It’s early days for Gemini Advanced, but if you’re an early adopter with a penchant for cutting-edge tech (and a disregard for your bank balance), then dive right in. Who knows? Maybe Gemini Advanced will become the indispensable tool we all pretend we need. Or, it could just be another forgotten subscription, quietly draining your bank account while you struggle to remember why you signed up in the first place. Only time, and your credit card statement, will tell.

THE END

Try Gemini at: https://gemini.google.com/

Other tech new: https://eternaldory.com/category/knowledge/technology/

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