Mission “Pretend Mars”: NASA’s Hilarious Hunt for Space Cowboys and Cowgirls
Ever fantasized about escaping Earth to start anew on Mars, only to remember you can’t even handle a camping trip without Wi-Fi? Well, NASA’s got the next best thing – a year-long vacation to “Mars,” no actual space travel required. Welcome to CHAPEA (Crew Health and Performance Exploration Analog), where the Red Planet is as close as Houston, Texas, and you don’t even have to pack a spacesuit.
In spring 2025, NASA’s launching its second pretend Mars mission, and they’re on the lookout for regular Earthlings turned Martian wannabes. Imagine living in a 3D-printed igloo dubbed Mars Dune Alpha, sprawling a luxurious 1,700 square feet – that’s bigger than my apartment, and possibly cleaner. This Mars mimic will throw everything at you: fake spacewalks, robotic gardening, even “equipment failures.” Ever tried fixing a 3D printer when it jams on Mars? Now’s your chance!
NASA’s wishlist includes folks who are healthy, motivated, and aged between 30-55 – so if your idea of adventure is switching from regular to decaf, you might already be overqualified. Smokers need not apply, presumably because lighting up in a simulated oxygen-rich environment is a no-no, even if it’s just pretend. Fluent English is a must, presumably to accurately complain about the “Martian” food or argue over who cleans the habitat’s only toilet next.
Got a master’s degree collecting dust? Perfect. NASA prefers their faux astronauts to be smarty pants with degrees in STEM fields, proving once and for all that rocket science isn’t just for rocket scientists. And if you’ve clocked more flight hours in video games than in actual planes, you might still have a shot – they’re not too picky.
The best part? You get paid to play make-believe! Details on the paycheck will be revealed once you’re in, making it feel like a top-secret mission, except the secret is how much you’ll earn for pretending to be Matt Damon from “The Martian.”
As the first CHAPEA crew is already halfway through their “Mars” adventure, NASA is knee-deep in pretend data, learning heaps about how humans deal with being stuck in a tin can with three other people for an extended holiday. It’s like “Big Brother” but with more science and less drama.
And let’s not forget the bigger picture – the Artemis campaign. It’s NASA’s grand plan to send real humans back to the Moon, land the first woman and person of color there, and eventually, pull off the ultimate road trip to Mars. CHAPEA is just the dress rehearsal, or in this case, the space rehearsal.
In the end, if you’ve ever wanted to tell folks you’ve been to Mars without the hassle of interplanetary travel, now’s your chance. The deadline’s April 2, so get moving. Who knows? This could be the most out-of-this-world experience you’ll ever pretend to have.
THE END
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Read the NASA’s article: https://www.nasa.gov/news-release/martians-wanted-nasa-opens-call-for-simulated-yearlong-mars-mission/
Read more science articles: https://eternaldory.com/category/knowledge/science/
Phu is the Head Writer at Eternal Dory, where his pen dives into the latest global trends and news in knowledge, graphic design, metaphysics, and entertainment. He has a knack for highlighting the fun aspects of his subjects, lightening the mood. Phu’s academic background is in Graphic Design, focusing on Animation and Motion Graphics.
